I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
