Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How's work?
Spinning.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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