I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
