I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
