yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
