We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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