you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
