Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
