he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
