Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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