Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
