so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
