i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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