Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
