At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
