I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
