I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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