Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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