you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
foreskin is a definite game changer
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
