i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize