I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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