Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
