i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
A+ Viking dick
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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