There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
