Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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