atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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