I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
