Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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