we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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