I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
