Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
