Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
