You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
