So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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