We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
