Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
