She announced her abortion via fbk
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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