i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
