Just fell off a train. Bad.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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