I hate all girls vehemently.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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