I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
