I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
