just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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