There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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