If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i out mim tonsoeep
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