Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
