if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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