who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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