Your mouth is God's brothel.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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