dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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